So on Tuesday morning, I (Anne), had my first official adoption-related meltdown. We've both been doing so great with the waiting so far. And then one little thing just set me off.
One of the MANY things on our "to do" list for the home study is to get a TB test. No big deal. So I went in for my test last Friday & was scheduled to come back in on Monday to have my results read. But then my incredible husband surprised me with a Disneyland getaway for the entire weekend and we didn't return until late Monday night. I re-scheduled my result reading for Tuesday.
After being kept waiting for nearly an hour in the waiting room (just to be handed a piece of paper!), the nurse finally called me in and told me that since more than 72 hours had passed since my test, the results were no longer valid and I had to re-take the test, then come back on Friday for the results.... RIDICULOUS. Apparently it's state mandate or whatever that considers your TB test results invalid after a certain period of time, but nobody told me this. I think my meltdown ensued from lack of sleep, hunger, and complete irritation at the entire process. I started yelling (yes, YELLING) at the nurse and then I just plain sat and cried. I felt so dumb, but I just couldn't help it.
Afterwards I went out to my car, let all the tears out, then called my husband. After talking it out, this is what the REAL reason for my meltdown was... This home study process just seems to be getting longer and longer. With all the doctors appointments, safety courses, tests, home improvements, paperwork, budgeting, the list of tasks seems endless. We're barely making a dent in all the things we need to do and it just seems completely unfair. Birth parents don't have to go through all of this. They can be as prepared or unprepared as they want for parenthood. Zach and I have tried for a baby, and desired a baby for SO long and we are beyond ready. It doesn't seem right that we have to jump through all of these hoops. What makes it even harder is that we have to baby proof our house, install our carseat, set up our nursery, all just to pass the home study but we have no idea how long it will be before we'll actually need all those things! So now all those things just serve as a reminder that we're still in the dark, without a baby. We're hoping and praying we'll get matched soon, but there's just no way to know. It's difficult to have the entire house ready even though we can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
It's now Saturday and I'm doing much better. :-) All our paperwork is complete and every doctors appt. and safety course we need has been scheduled. We'll be completely done with our home study by the end of August, hallelujah! Guess I just melted down for nothing. :-)
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Interview #1
Today we met our social worker, Dalyn, and we did our home assessment & couples interview. We really had no idea what to expect (which made me pretty nervous), but Dalyn was great and very easy to talk to. Some of the questions were pretty darn personal, but we worked through it and responded as honestly as we could. Some of the information she gave us seemed like total common sense to us (ie: Never withhold food or basic necessities from your child as a means of punishment, Check the water temperature before you bathe your child), but we figured she's probably seen it all & she was just covering all her bases.
We filled out an endless pile of paperwork and as if all the hoops we've jumped through so far weren't enough, we were given yet another list of tasks. We each have to get a DMV clearance, a physical, a TB test, pass a water safety course, and pass a CPR & first aid course. We were also told during our home assessment that our entire house needs to be baby-proofed by next week. This means covering all our outlets, putting safety latches on every cabinet & drawer, installing locks on the oven, fridge & toilet, etc etc etc. We thought this was pretty ridiculous since we haven't even been matched with a birth mom yet, and even we were to get a baby tomorrow, it would be MONTHS before they would be at risk for sticking their finger in a socket or getting a knife off the kitchen counter! Nevertheless, it needs to be done in order to pass our home study. We just need to keep focusing on the end result... we're going to be parents to a beautiful son or daughter. When that day comes all this work will be worth it. :-)
Tomorrow we'll be assembling the crib for the nursery & then the baby's room will be just about complete! We're still waiting on a dresser but it won't arrive until the first week of August. I'll post pictures of the finished room (minus the dresser) at the end of this week. :-)
We filled out an endless pile of paperwork and as if all the hoops we've jumped through so far weren't enough, we were given yet another list of tasks. We each have to get a DMV clearance, a physical, a TB test, pass a water safety course, and pass a CPR & first aid course. We were also told during our home assessment that our entire house needs to be baby-proofed by next week. This means covering all our outlets, putting safety latches on every cabinet & drawer, installing locks on the oven, fridge & toilet, etc etc etc. We thought this was pretty ridiculous since we haven't even been matched with a birth mom yet, and even we were to get a baby tomorrow, it would be MONTHS before they would be at risk for sticking their finger in a socket or getting a knife off the kitchen counter! Nevertheless, it needs to be done in order to pass our home study. We just need to keep focusing on the end result... we're going to be parents to a beautiful son or daughter. When that day comes all this work will be worth it. :-)
Tomorrow we'll be assembling the crib for the nursery & then the baby's room will be just about complete! We're still waiting on a dresser but it won't arrive until the first week of August. I'll post pictures of the finished room (minus the dresser) at the end of this week. :-)
Sunday, July 4, 2010
The home study begins
As you may have noticed, there hasn't been much to report over the last couple weeks. We've been very busy filling out LOTS of paperwork for our home study and assembling LOTS of copies of our profile book for Little Angel Adoptions. But now, the profile books have been turned in (which means they can be sent out to any birth mom who is a potential match), and the paperwork has been submitted. Our social worker, Dalyn, will be coming to our house on Monday, July 12th to do a home assessment and our couple's interview. It will be about a 2 hour interview with Zach & I together, answering questions about anything & everything! Next, on July 13th, I will do an individual interview with Dalyn, and Zach will do his on July 19th. Once all three interviews are complete we will move on to our 12 hours of infant training. Then we're done! It seems so simple, but we're anxious to have it all behind us.
In the meantime, we've been working on putting the nursery together. The walls are painted, curtains are up, and new diapers have been slowly accumulating in the closet. :-) We picked out the furniture last week & it's being assembled piece by piece. We're having so much fun pulling the whole room together & imagining what it will be like when we introduce our child to it! I am already excited about our Jeep brand stroller & JJ Cole diaper bag- both have all the bells & whistles and I almost wish I had an excuse to use them even without a baby! :-) But by far the most important element in the nursery is the rocking chair.... it was built by my grandfather when he was just a young guy on the farm in Iowa. After losing him to Alzheimers just last September, I was given the chair- it has personal meaning to me and to our family. We are honored and excited to rock our baby to sleep in my Opa's chair, knowing he will be looking down from heaven and smiling as we do so.
In the meantime, we've been working on putting the nursery together. The walls are painted, curtains are up, and new diapers have been slowly accumulating in the closet. :-) We picked out the furniture last week & it's being assembled piece by piece. We're having so much fun pulling the whole room together & imagining what it will be like when we introduce our child to it! I am already excited about our Jeep brand stroller & JJ Cole diaper bag- both have all the bells & whistles and I almost wish I had an excuse to use them even without a baby! :-) But by far the most important element in the nursery is the rocking chair.... it was built by my grandfather when he was just a young guy on the farm in Iowa. After losing him to Alzheimers just last September, I was given the chair- it has personal meaning to me and to our family. We are honored and excited to rock our baby to sleep in my Opa's chair, knowing he will be looking down from heaven and smiling as we do so.
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