In the fiery furnace

" 'I live between the two statements in the book of Job,' explained my friend. 'On the one hand I want to curse God and die. On the other, though he slay me yet will I trust him.' She sighed. 'It's like one hand makes a fist and shakes it at God, and the other hand, which is open, pleads to him for help.' She inhabits inexplicable spiritual ironies: The God who allows us to suffer is the only One who can deeply comfort us. The Lord who dumps us into the furnace is the only One who can pluck us from the fire. The Provider who falls interminably silent constantly hovers over us. At times the physical evidence says we can't depend on God, but we can't afford not to trust him, either.

Some pain cuts so deep that books, Bible verses, gratitude lists, well-meaning words, and other comforts don't penetrate. They sound silly and simplistic. We can only stand in the fire and wait for the angel." -Judith Couchman, The Shadow of His Hand

This passage from Judith Couchman's book could not have more clearly described where we are. Walking with God is a challenging and sometimes painful journey. He does not promise us an easier life when we choose to follow Him, rather He tells us to prepare for trials and persecution, promising to give us the strength and faith we need to endure them. When we're placed in the fire it's easy to be so consumed by our pain that we forget to look for God in the midst of the flames. Zach and I have done just that, and we realize just how dangerous it is for both us and the people who follow us. When we stop praying, stop looking for Him, we leave ourselves unguarded and we become consumed by the flames. We simply can't afford not to trust Him. It's taking an immense amount of courage and faith for us to reach out from the fire and take the hand of the same God who placed us there to begin with, but we're just grateful He's offering us His hand at all. I am grateful we serve a God who does not hold our silence against us- I know He understands our pain and our anger toward Him, and He loves us through it. He is with us in the fire.

We may never understand the Lord's purpose in allowing us to suffer the losses we have, and we are learning to accept that. Following Him doesn't mean we need to know His plan, it means we just need to believe He has one. Though He has been silent in response to our prayers for a child, He has provided and blessed us in so many other areas that we haven't even prayed for. We can't hold this one "unanswered" prayer against Him when He is so clearly holding us up in every other area of our lives. Besides, we believe and trust that someday He'll respond to our requests for a child with a resounding "YES!"

"As sure as ever God puts his children in the furnace, he will be in the furnace with them."

-Charles Spurgeon