We received the phone call from our agency on Friday & we spoke with the birthmom Saturday morning. Her name is Adrianna, she is 19 years old, lives in Michigan, and her due date is today (Sept 12th). Both she & the birth father (who was out of the picture before it even began) are full African-American. She is completely healthy and so is baby, up to this point. More important than anything else (at least for us), is that her family & friends all know about her pregnancy & adoption plan, and they are all supportive. While we certainly know this doesn't guarantee anything, we feel much more comfortable knowing no family will come out of the woodwork last minute and change her mind.
When we asked her why she chose adoption for her baby, she explained that her situation is simply not conducive to raising a child. She and her three sisters live with her single, unemployed mom. They are all living off food stamps in a small house. Adrianna is also jobless and has not completed her GED. She has no way of supporting a baby and neither does her family. Upon hearing this we tried our best to encourage her (but really, what can you say?). We told her what we've told all the other birthmoms... that we respect and admire her for the selfless and loving decision she's making... that we'll make sure this child knows they were placed for adoption because they were so very loved and because their mother put their needs before her own. We assured her we were here to support her, no matter what the outcome ends up being.
Other things some of you may want to know- We don't know the gender of the baby, nor are we deciding on any names until we feel certain it will all work out. Adrianna has decided, for now, that she does not want any contact or updates from us after the baby is adopted. However, she would like to see & hold the baby after she delivers. So far she has not asked for any financial assistance from us, but if a need arises we would definitely be willing to come alongside her.
After so many times through this we've tried our hardest to make our focus the birthmom, not the baby. If we walk away from our relationship with her (with or without a baby) knowing we did our best to love, support, and pray for her, then we will have no regrets. It's a ministry, not an opportunity.
Some things you can be praying for Adrianna:
-Peace of mind in the decision she's made, that no matter what emotions may take over, she will stand firm in doing what is best for the child, not for herself.
-Relief from the discomfort she's feeling in these final days of her pregnancy, that she will be able to rest adequately.
-Comfort for her as she experiences anxiety and fear about the labor & delivery process. This is her first pregnancy and she's had little prenatal care/training.
-Total health and smooth sailing for both Adrianna and baby as they endure labor & delivery.
Something you can be praying for us:
-Protection of our hearts as we move forward with Adrianna, that we find a balance between connecting & building a trust with her, and staying guarded & detached.
-If we end up traveling to Michigan for the birth of the baby, that all the logistical things would fall into place and we can get there safely and without incident.
-That we would continue to surrender this entire thing to the Lord every minute of every day, trusting Him completely, no matter the outcome.
In the meantime, as we wait for things to either fall through or move forward (meaning we book a flight to Michigan when she goes into labor), I keep repeating Exodus 14:14 to myself... "The Lord will fight for me; I need only to be still."
