I'll start from the end and work my way backwards....
This afternoon our adoption lawyer called us, and through his tears he told us Adrianna had changed her mind. She met with the social worker (Jill) from the Michigan adoption agency and told her that nothing had really changed, she still knew that she couldn't provide for a child, but she simply wanted to be his mom. That was it. She was digging her heels in. She was being stubborn, selfish, and nineteen years old. Her mind was not on the consequences this decision would have on us, and especially not on the baby. Unfortunately, we've seen this happen so many times before. Regardless of all the obvious, practical reasons a mother may have for not being able to support a baby, her heart & emotions take over and nothing but her own selfish desires matter.
What we also found out was that because the baby tested tox-positive when he was born (Adrianna smoked marijuana consistently during her pregnancy), CPS (Child Protective Services) was informed. Apparently they are already very familiar with Adrianna's family as they have removed children from the home before (her sister's kids). It's very likely the baby will not even be discharged to Adrianna at all, but rather to a foster home. This information angers us to no end. She is knowingly placing her son in the foster system rather than with us. Nobody wins, least of all the baby. It's absolutely heartbreaking.
We are walking the tightrope of holding it together, knowing God is still in control & He will use this pain somehow some way, and also completely collapsing under the weight of the pain, frustration, and complete disbelief that we are here for the fifth time in a row.
There is so much more we will share via blog over the next few days, about how we feel about all of this, about our time here in Michigan and about the incredible support we've had from social workers, hospital staff, and most especially our friends & family who have been texting, emailing, calling & Facebooking us through this entire ordeal. Without your prayers we could not stand. In the meantime we are feeling your prayers and are grateful for your support.
