So after a few days of phone calls and text messaging, we picked up Felicia and her adoptive mom at their home to drive them to her sonogram appointment. They live in a very rough and dangerous neighborhood (We saw bullet holes in the bedroom windows), and the inside of the house made me cringe. I began to hope even more that Felicia would follow through on her decision... I couldn't imagine this new baby being raised in such circumstances.
Felicia looks like just a kid, but she's faced hardship in her life that has matured and hardened her. Her adoptive mom, Joyce, is a very sweet and loving person. She's doing her best to support Felicia in raising her son, as well as raising three daughters of her own, but it's not easy while unemployed and on disability. I feel we definitely won Joyce over- she seemed to trust us and show great interest in our desire to be parents. She was able to shed a lot of light on Felicia and her background, and we were very encouraged to know Felicia has a mom like Joyce in her corner.
Felicia's biological mom has been involved in her life since she was young, but she's by no means a good role model. She's had multiple children with multiple partners and given several children up for adoption (including Felicia). Felicia keeps in touch with her and other members of her biological family, but she's aware her mother is not too stable.
We had about half an hour in the waiting room before her appointment to talk and get to know both Felicia and Joyce. The conversation was easy and flowed well. Felicia has a good sense of humor and we enjoyed joking around with her. She showed us pictures of her son, Amari (who is the most gorgeous & adorable child ever), and pictures of the birth father who we learned is still working his way through high school. He asked her to get an abortion when he first learned of her pregnancy but she stood firmly against it. They both know they cannot afford the costs of another child and neither can their families, so they turned to adoption.
We had a good chance to share our heart for adoption, our heart for parenting, and our heart to keep this child forever in the loop about their biological family. We hope and pray Felicia sensed our authenticity.
We're still processing all the information we gained about Felicia and her background. She's had a very difficult life and we admire her courage in making this decision. We are confident that in adopting this child we will be sparing it from a very challenging life. We plan to consistently remind Felicia of the incredible gift she's giving us.
When we joined Felicia for the sonogram, it was determined she's only 14 weeks along, rather than 18 as she thought, so it was too early to determine the gender of the baby. It was still amazing though to see the baby kicking, punching, and hiccuping. :-) Felicia simply said, "There's your son or daughter!" It was a sweet moment. The official due date is now August 31st. We went home with lots of sonogram pictures and peaceful hearts.
